Friday, July 31, 2009

101 - don't hose your 4year old down for wetting the bed

A couple of thoughts for this young man.

"A father who hosed his naked four-year-old daughter after she wet the bed, wanted to teach his partner a lesson, the Invercargill District Court was told yesterday."

Don't take your anger with your partner out on your child. You were angry with the partner, so why hose down your daughter? You were trying to get your partner to feel as upset as you, but it doesn't work that way. You need to deal with the anger you feel. Why are you angry? What actually are you angry about? What can you do to make it better? How can you deal with your anger better? The hard news to accept, is that if you get angry, it is your stuff and you need to deal with it. Don't blame your child, don't blame your partner.

And the second thing is, what the hell are you punishing your 4 year old for wetting their bed for anyway? Children don't deliberately wet their beds, children don't think, "How can I agitate my father" Grow up and deal with the issue. Why is your daughter wetting the bed? Maybe she is picking up on the emotional immaturity, maybe she is scared, maybe she needs comforting. What she doesn't need is her father punishing her (to get back at his partner) for wetting the bed.

Who is supporting this guy? Where are his family? Where are his elders, who can teach him right from wrong, truth from lies. I hope he gets the support he needs.

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